


Just Try It

by Books in the Blood (WholockHobbit88)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29005146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WholockHobbit88/pseuds/Books%20in%20the%20Blood
Summary: After having a dream he kissed Beomgyu, Kai cant forget it and thinks about it every time he sees him. He resolves to aviod Beomgyu until he can figure out his feelings. But when Beomgyu confronts him he admits his thoughts. Beomgyu suggests if they kiss it might get the fantasy out of Kai's head but that isnt what happens.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai
Kudos: 75





	Just Try It

Kai didn't know where the dream had come from. Really, it should have meant nothing. He should have been able to shrug it off as nonsense and went back to sleep. But he couldn't and that's why it meant more than it should have. Because instead of going back to sleep and thinking nothing of it he was lying awake in the dark at three in the morning unable to sleep because his heart was racing. And it was all because he'd had a dream that he had kissed Beomgyu.

This is wrong...this is so wrong….. he thought as he twisted the blankets in his sweaty palms. Beomgyu was his friend; he'd never thought about him like that before. But for some reason he'd dreamt about it and now that's all he could think about. He told himself that it didn't mean anything; you could have plenty of dreams that didn't mean anything. He was sleepy, he was only half awake. He could allow himself a few minutes to dwell on it because it was dark and quiet and everyone was asleep and anyway it's not like they would know anyway right?

Instantly Kai felt guilty. No, it was not okay. But still the thoughts persisted. The dream had seemed so real, almost too real. He could still feel how it felt to take Beomgyu's face in his hands, how soft his lips made felt against his own. Kai could feel his cheeks grow hot as his heart raced. He didn't know why he was reacting this way but he told himself it wasn't because he liked the idea of kissing Beomgyu; it was simply because it was so strange and weird. Still, Kai did not go to sleep for a long time. It was long time before his heart would calm down and he'd stop sweating and his body would calm enough to go to sleep.

The next morning when Kai woke up the first thought that came to his head was the dream again. Hours had passed but it was just as vivid and it still made his heart race.

This is not good...he thought. He could convince himself all he wanted in the dark of the night that nothing was wrong but things seemed more real in the light of day. And he now he couldn't convince himself that he didn't like the idea of kissing Beomgyu because clearly he did. And what exactly did he do with that information?

Kai went to join the others for breakfast but it became instantly apparent that that wasn't going to work. Because everyone else was already there including Beomgyu. And when Kai saw him, looking cute with his hair still tousled from bed, he smiled at him and told him good morning, and Kai's stomach squirmed with butterflies and his palms got sweaty.

"Hey, come sit next to me" Beomgyu said cheerily pulling out the chair next to him for Kai to sit in. He wanted to but his stomach stull was twisting and he kept looking at Beomgyu's lips and so instead he said, "Uh I'm not hungry" and quickly grabbed a bottle of water before disappearing back into his room. He sat on the edge of his bed, drinking the water furiously to cool himself down. Now that he wasn't looking at Beomgyu the butterflies weren't so bad and now his stomach rumbled with hunger but he couldn't go back out there. He drank his water as fast as he could to try to appease his stomach and tried to think what he should do.

Well, he honestly didn't know what to do so the only logical course of action would be to avoid Beomgyu until he could figure out how to make these thoughts go away. Unfortunately, that consisted of mostly staying in his room most of the day. He couldn't avoid him all day though; they had practice and he couldn't avoid him there. Especially since at one point he actually had to dance with Beomgyu.

"Your hands are so sweaty, Kai "Beomgyu said, "do you have a fever?"

Beomgyu actually looked concerned while everyone else stared at him. No, he definitely didn't have a fever. But he did have a problem which was that when Beomgyu grabbed his hands he felt his heart race and his stomach leap with nerves. And he was so close Kai couldn't think of his dance moves and kept stepping on Beomgyu's feet and looking at his lips which were shiny with chapstick and smelled like cherries and his whole body felt super hot.

Kai didn't answer Beomgyu but burst out. "I need a break. I have to use the bathroom" and raced out of the room at super speed.

Kai didn't have to use the bathroom but he rushed off anyway, locked the door behind him and sat on the toilet trying to thinking what to do. He felt desperate; he loved Beomgyu so much but as a friend. He didn't want do anything to damage that. But suddenly he felt he loved him in a different way too and didn't know how to deal with it. How was he supposed to look at Beomgyu and want to kiss him and touch him and just be okay with that? He never could be...Kai hung his head in despair trying to breathe deeply and willing everything to be okay.

Kai did better when he came out; he focused on the dance moves hard and didn't look at Beomgyu unless he had to. Everyone kept asking if he was okay and though he said he was, he wasn't. He was sad and confused. He was relieved when they were done and could go home so he could disappear into his room. He could hear Beomgyu distantly behind him asking if he wanted to watch a movie with him but he ignored him entirely.

Kai closed the bedroom door behind him and fell down on his bed face first, burying his face in his pillow. He hated ignoring Beomgyu; he just wanted to hang out with him and have things be normal. He wanted to go back to a time where he didn't feel like his heart was going to explode every time he looked at Beomgyu.

He was roused out of his thoughts when the door opened and Beomgyu burst into the room. "Hey! You didn't even knock!" Kai said as he scrambled to sit on the edge of the bed and look normal.

Beomgyu didn't acknowledge the intrusion. "Are you mad at me?" He looked hurt and upset and Kai hated that he put that there.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm fine" Kai said. Even his voice didn't sound fine. He wasn't surprised when Beomgyu didn't buy it.

"You're avoiding me " Beomgyu said. "And don't lie and say you aren't because I know you are. You won't sit next to me or talk to me. You barely even look at me. What's wrong?"

Kai let himself look at Beomgyu, really look at him. His stomach still flipped with nerves, wanting to reach out and touch him in a way he knew he couldn't. But his heart was breaking as he said, " I can't tell you."

Sadness crossed Beomgyu's face. "But we are friends. You can tell me anything" he said quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Kai's arm. "Don't you trust me?"

Kai felt warmth and electricity where Beomgyu's hand was on his arm and hated himself for it. His stomach churned with nerves. "I do trust you" Kai said starring down at the floor. "But it's because we are friends that I can't tell you. You'll hate me if I tell you."

"Kai, I would never hate you no matter what you tell me" Beomgyu said sincerely.

Kai buried his face in his hands, overwhelmed with sadness. He knew Beomgyu couldn't really mean that. If he knew that he'd been fantasizing all day about kissing him, that even right now he still wanted to, he would hate him. Things would never be the same.

Beomgyu was alarmed by Kai's obviously disparity. "You have to talk to me Kai" he urged, "I don't want you to keep avoiding me. And you're kind of scaring me right now. Talk to me."

Kai felt all the fight go out of him like a deflated balloon. Beomgyu was right but he had no idea that things would never be the same after what Kai was going to say.

"Okay...I'll tell you." Kai said quietly, uncovering his face but still not looking at Beomgyu. His hands were shaking.

"I uh, had this dream, last night. Uh...it was about you" Kai said.

Beomgyu was quiet for a moment, obviously expecting something more serious. "You're this upset over a dream?" He asked, not understanding.

"Yeah...because um," Kai's heart was hammering in his chest and every word took great effort. He took a great shaking breath, focused on Beomgyu's warm hand on his arm. After he told him, he probably wouldn't ever want to touch him again.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this but...well I had a dream about you. That I...kissed you" Kai admitted, wishing the earth would swallow him up. Beomgyu didn't say anything and Kai was took afraid to look at him.

"And I don't know why but all day I kept thinking about that dream" Kai confessed. "Every time I looked at you, I would think about it. And I'm sorry...really sorry. I just wish it would stop because you're my friend and I don't want you to hate me."

Beomgyu was quiet for a long time, fear coursing through Kai. Well, he'd done it now and he couldn't take it back. It felt like an eternity before Beomgyu said, "I don't hate you, Kai" his voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He didn't say anything else but grabbed Kai's hand and held it tightly. It made his heart flutter even though mentally he told himself to stop. But he couldn't stop.

"I'll fix this, I promise" Kai said when Beomgyu stayed quiet. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew it would be weird. I was just going to avoid you until I could stop thinking about doing...that" Kai couldn't make himself say kiss again.

"It just won't stop" Kai admitted in the quiet. Beomgyu still held his hand, tight, almost too tight. And Kai mustered the courage to look at him. He looked lost in thought. Finally he spoke.

"Sometimes you can't get something out of your head until you do it" Beomgyu said quietly. "Like, you think it'll be a big deal and then you do it and it's not such a big deal so you stop thinking about it. So...you know...we could try it...if you want to."

Kai forgot to breathe for a moment. His and Beomgyu's hands were sweaty together and Kai didn't know if it was just him or not. Was Beomgyu suggesting what he thought he was?

Kai took a big breath. His voice came out as a whisper.

"You mean we could...try to...like in my dream?" He couldn't even say kiss; how could he possibly do it?

Kai looked at Beomgyu fully this time. He turned slightly to face Kai. He looked shy; he blushed. "Um...yeah. If you want to" he said.

"You don't have to do that" Kai said not wanting Beomgyu to feel like Kai was pressuring him into a kiss. If it was weird, he didn't want Beomgyu to blame him. Part of his head was screaming at him that this was a bad idea. The other part was begging him to do it.

"I know I don't" Beomgyu said. He gave Kai a shy smile. "It'll be okay."

It was as if Beomgyu knew his worries. And probably he did; he was a good friend. Maybe he knew all Kai needed was reassurances to let go and do it.

"Okay... then umm yeah...I want to" Kai said. His hands were shaky and sweaty and his heart raced. He was so nervous and excited at the same time. He and Beomgyu turned to face each other and that's when Kai's stomach churned with worry. He didn't know how he was going to do this. He wanted to, really wanted to, but the dream version of him that had kissed Beomgyu and held him tightly in his dream had more confidence than the real version of Kai. And now he felt silly because he knew Beomgyu was just looking at him and he was frozen.

"Do it just like you did in your dream" Beomgyu encouraged him quietly, sensing his hesitation.

"Okay" Kai whispered shakily, his eyes falling to Beomgyu's lips.

Just like his dream...

Kai took a breath and something seemed to change in him. He remembered his dream; what he had been reliving all day and forced himself out of his head. He reached his shaky hands out and grabbed Beomgyu's face just like he had in his dream; his cheeks were soft and smooth against his fingertips. He looked into his eyes for a moment, feeling a tremble run through him. Beomgyu closed his eyes and that's when Kai knew to do it. Kai closed his eyes and leaned in, his heartbeat hammering in his ears. His lips connected with Beomgyu's, briefly, softly, just a touch. Beomgyu's lips were soft and tasted sweet but Kai still felt awkward. He pressed his mouth a little harder against Beomgyu's but he felt awkward and strange. This wasn't like his dream; Beomgyu wasn't melting under his touch and he knew he was doing this all wrong. He was beginning to think he was foolish for even telling Beomgyu. He should have just made up an excuse. Because Kai was sure Beomgyu hated this and was just tolerating him because he was his friend. Frustrated, Kai began to pull back. He'd just stop and apologize to Beomgyu for this whole thing and ask him to pretend it never happened.

But then...then things were different. He started to pull back but he couldn't. Because right when he tried there were hands on him; on his back and head pulling him closer and lips pressing more against him and oh...oh...it was good.

Kai had been trying to force things like they had been in his dream and it hadn't worked but then Beomgyu had taken over and it worked. Kai knew he wasn't kissing well; he'd been super embarrassed and was sure that Beomgyu didn't want to do it. But when he had given Beomgyu an out he hadn't taken it; instead of being glad they were done, Beomgyu had kept it going.

Kai felt his head get fuzzy as his body seemed to take over. Everywhere Beomgyu touched seemed to light up and feel warm. Beomgyu gripped the back of his head, pulling it forward so that Kai couldn't pull his lips away from him. Not that Kai wanted to; while he had been feeling weird only moments ago, when Beomgyu grabbed him and tried to deepen the kiss all of that insecurity and anxiety melted away and was taken over by something hot and fierce and something that wanted more…..

Beomgyu's hand on the back of his head was moving, fingers gently brushing his hair making his head feel even fuzzier. His lips moved quickly, almost desperately against Kai's, as if he was trying to get as much of him as possible. It lit something warm, deep in his stomach; either Beomgyu had more experience kissing than he did or this was about more than him just humoring Kai. He was just about to ponder that when he felt a hand on his hip pulling him closer and Beomgyu's tongue rub against his lips and all coherent thought was swept from his mind.

There was no worry, no anxiety and no overthinking. Kai's hands dropped to Beomgyu's hips, pulling him closer, closer until there was very little space between them. He opened his mouth slightly and Beomgyu wasted no time in moving his tongue inside, taking Kai by surprised. Yes, Beomgyu was definitely good at kissing…

Kai didn't know how long he let himself get lost but when they finally pulled apart gasping for air, his heart was racing and that warm feeling inside him was urging him to keep going. When he opened his eyes Beomgyu was inches from him, his hair tousled and cheeks pink. He bit his lip nervously and that's when Kai thought he must be thinking the same thing as him. What did he say now? What did he do? Beomgyu had seemed pretty into it but Kai was afraid to even acknowledge it for fear that if he did Beomgyu would brush off the whole thing. After all, it was just supposed to be an experiment right? They weren't supposed to want to do it again. Only…..Kai did want to do it again. A lot…

"Umm…..so…did that help? Was it…..like your dream?" Beomgyu asked finally after a minute of silence. He'd made no effort to move away from Kai and he could feel his body radiating heat.

Seriously? Kai was still trying to catch his breath; Beomgyu obviously didn't know how much he had affected him. Kai didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"Um….no…..that was not like my dream" Kai said before he could think. It was the truth; the kiss in his dream was practically a peck on the lips compared to the kiss Beomgyu had just given him. This was so much better.

"Oh…..well…I guess dreams…..are always better aren't they?" Beomgyu said, hurt crossing his face. That's when Kai understood; Beomgyu had actually liked it too but he thought Kai didn't. He started to move away, obviously thinking Kai wanted to forget it but before he could move an inch Kai stopped him.

Wrapping his arms all the way around Beomgyu he pulled him against himself and kissed him hard. Kai didn't know what came over him; he didn't even think it through, he just knew he didn't want it to stop and he wanted Beomgyu to know that he felt just as strong as he did. At first Beomgyu was frozen; he didn't move as Kai grabbed him and crushed his lips against his own. But only a second later Beomgyu was responding, moving his lips fast and hard against Kai's.

Kai had his hands deep in Beomgyu's hair and his lips moving furiously when sense came back to him. He pulled back abruptly, hot and flustered when he burst out, "I'm sorry…..I…uh…..well…this is much better than my dream." Kai felt a bit guilty. Even if he thought Beomgyu wanted to kiss him, he still shouldn't have forced himself on Beomgyu like that, especially so suddenly. He licked his lips, nervous but feeling a rush of warmth, knowing his were swollen from the kissing and slick with Beomgyu's spit.

He was relieved when Beomgyu smiled wide. "I'm glad…..because well…I liked it a lot, "he said looking shy but his cheeks flushing as red as Kai was sure his was.

Warmth and relief flooded through Kai making his legs feel weak. He felt a little bold as he said, "Good…..because well…..I was thinking we should try it…..again." He bit his lips, his eyes focused on Beomgyu's reddened lips, wishing desperately to kiss him again. He felt a bit dizzy from it; it was definitely better than a dream.

Kai's stomach leapt inside him when Beomgyu smiled at him. "We should definitely try it again" he said before crushing his lips against Kai's.


End file.
